Folk and Traditional Song Lyrics:
Little Husband

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The Little Husband

The Little Husband

 There was a man who made his daughter
 Wed a man who was much shorter
 He wasn't any size at all
 In fact you'd call him rather small.

 Standing on tiptoe he was able
 To rub noses with her navel
 But even that began to pawl
 For he was really much too small.

 Her mother meant the marriage night meant
 That there would be much more excitement
 But it was not that way at all
 For he was really rather small.

 Now she had hoped that with persuasion
 He would rise to the occasion
 If he would rise,then she would fall
 For her man who was so small.

 He wasn't like her other lovers
 He got lost beneath the covers
 She couldn't find him there at all
 For he was really far too small.

 If he were lost there'd be a scandel
 So she sought him with a candle
 For she could hear the frantic call
 Of her poor man who was so small.

 It was by candle not desire
 That she set the bed on fire
 So that the bed became the pawl
 Of her poor man who was so small

 She got him out of this misfortune
 But to hold him was so scorching
 She had to wrap him in a shawl
 For he was hot as well as small.

 Then she thought she would deposite
 Him inside the water closet
 Thinking that this would make him cool
 Her little man who was so small.

 And then she pulled from force of habit
 And it drowned him like a rabbit
 There was a fizz and that was all
 Of her poor man who was so small.

 Pity the girl who weds a midget
 Who can do no more than fidget
 If your tall then never fall
 For one who is so small.

 For marriage to a pygmy
 Leads to tragedy and bigamy
 This is a story that is tall
 About a man who was so small.

John the Fish,recorded it
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III