It's Dangerous Out Here
There's Russians on the front porch
There's Martians on the ceiling
There's a cape buffalo on the patio
And you ask me how I'm feeling
There's a sniper by the swing set
The subway has been mined
And here you come with a great big smile
Singing rise and shine.
There's nothing you can say
That could get me up today
Nothing you have every said
That can drive me from this bed
You can call me lazy, crazy
Call me stupid I don't care
I ain't getting up
It's dangerous out there.
There's a hunter from New Jersey
In my kitchen drinking beer
There's a Texan out my window
With a chain saw and a leer
I can take a walk around the block
To shake me from my slumber
But there's student drivers out today
And one has got my number
There's a pounding on my front door
It's enought to make me scream
Why it's two girl scouts, one Jehovah witness
And a whole swat team.
So listen to me darling
Please heed these words I say
It's too scary here in February dear
Set my snooze alarm for May.