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Live in this hole of an Institute
Sign off your soul to the Institute
There are no fools at the Institute
Merely us tools at the Institute.

Go to Strat's Rat for a quick whirl
Ten guys are all after one girl
Plenty of mixers and parties
Coming in second to Harvies.

Tuition high at the Institute
Never say why at the Institute
Fees will be high at the Institute
'Til we decease from the Institute.

They thought we needed some culture
Eleven tons of black sculpture
Eighty-five grand from CVA
Course III could do it for one K.

Fin Aid is good at the Institute
Sign loans in blood at the Institute
Payments are mild at the Institute
Give your first child to the Institute.

Building new dorms to have more space
Triple the class size to keep pace
Singles exist, though a bit drear
Live in my closet all next year.

Hacking all night at the Institute
Everyone's bright at the Institute
Painting the dome at the Institute
Being sent home from the Institute.

Eating on Commons is so nice
s*** on a shingle and fried rice?
All of their entrees are dirt cheap
Starch on your plate in a wet heap.

Plenty of gloom at the Institute
Plenty of doom at the Institute
Plenty of grass at the Institute
Always in class at the Institute.

I think I'll transfer to State U.
What makes you think they would take you?
All of my grades will be A's there.
Then you can end up on welfare.

Lectures are deep at the Institute
Plenty of sleep at the Institute
Too many bucks at the Institute
Everything sucks at the Institute.

(to the tune of ``America'' from ``West Side Story'')
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III