Folk and Traditional Song Lyrics:
Grannys in the Cellar

Granny's in the Cellar

Granny's in the Cellar

Granny's in the cellar
Lordy, can't you smell her
Cooking greasy biscuits on the stove
In her eye there is some matter
That keeps dripping in the batter
And she whistles as the [sniff] runs down her nose
   Down her nose, down her nose
   She whistles as the [sniff] runs down her nose
   In her eye there is some matter
   That keeps dripping in the batter
   And she whistles as the [sniff] runs down her nose

Granpa's in the basement
And to his amazement
There is something in the wine he made last fall
And his eyes are getting redder
As his tongue is getting wetter
'Cause it's ninety-seven percent alcohol
   Alcohol, alcohol
   It's ninety-seven percent alcohol
   His eyes are getting redder
   As his tongue is getting wetter
   'Cause it's nInety-seven percent alcohol.

Granny's in the laundry
And she's in a quandary
'Cause she put some starch in with her underwear
And it's gonna be disaster
When it dries as hard as plaster
But she's tough as nails and so she doesn't care
   Underwear, underwear
   She put some starch in with her underwear
   And It's gonna be disaster when it dries as hard as plaster
   But she's tough as nails so she don't care.
      Tune: "Y'All Come"

      From _A Prairie Home Companion Folksong Book_  by Marcia & Jon
      Pankake; (Viking, 1988)

      Instructions given in text: "Where it says [sniff] just wind 'er up
      and give a real good snort.  Just don't be too long about it, and
      don't be too disgusting, and above all, try not to get any on you." AJS

AJS
OCT98