Like The Big Pots Do-1938
Regal Zonophone MR2684 Long
Now isn't it disgusting how some vulgar folks behave
When they sit down to eat their food.
My father was a baker, so I'm quite well bread you see
And no one's more particular when eating food than me
To give you information I am able
On how you should behave when at the table.
Never use your fingers when you're eating stew
Wipe your plate with bread just like the big pots do
Peas should not be eaten with a knife it's true
Eat 'em from the saucepan like the big pots do.
Never put both elbows on the table when you eat
Leave a bit of room for the other folk to "park" their feet.
Always hold your kipper in one hand , not two
And wave it when you're talking like the big pots do.
Soup should not be eaten with a sponge, oh no!
Gargle it quite loudly like the big pots do.
When you're eating winkles and the pins are few
Smash 'em with a hamper like the big pots do.
Watermelons make you rather damp behind the ears.
Onions are pathetic and they make you melt in tears.
When you eat these dainties you might get wet through
So wear a bathing costume like the big pots do.
Smoke between the courses that's the fashion new
Leave the fag ends on the plate just like the big pots do.
If your playful hostess throws a roll at you
Smack her with a jelly like the big pots do.
When you're eating ices here's a wheeze that you can crack
Ices look so pretty sliding down a ladies back
If the spoons are silver, pocket one or two
To add to your collection like the big pots do.