I don't want to join the army
I don't want to go to war.
I would rather hang around
A'livin off the earnings of a 'igh born lady
I don't want a bullet in me backside,
I don't want me buttocks (or arsehole) shot away.
I would rather stay in Lunnon,
Jolly, jolly Lunnon
And fornicate me bloomin' life away, Gor Blimey
Call out the Army and the Navy
Call out the rank and file.
Call out the brave Territorials
They face danger with a smile!
Call out the King's Militia
They kept England free!
Call out me brother
Me father or me mother
But for Gawd's sake don't call me.