Title: American Old Time Song Lyrics
Subject: Traditional & Folk Music
Author: www.traditionalmusic.co.uk
Keywords: Old time music, American, oldtimey, bluegrass

I Never Could Understand - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
I NEVER COULD UNDERSTAND. Copyright, 1895, by W. P. Chase. Words and Music by W. P. Chase. 
There are many strange things in the drama of life Which I never could understand, There are customs now ancient und customs still rife, Which I never could understand; For instance, you'll see a young man on the street, All dressed in the latest style, looking so neat; How he does it on salary of seven a week? I never could understand, I never could understand just why some things are so; Ev'ry day of the year I find things more queer, Things I never could understand. 
Just why our bald heads always take the front row, I never could understand, And why living pictures are so much the "go," I never could understand. Just why, when a baby wakes up In the night, It takes such a ghoulish And fiendish delight In making Its papa say things which aren't right, I never could understand. 
How the ballet can make our old maids look so young, I never could understand; Why a few dozen more of book agents aren't hung, I never could understand. Just why, when a woman Is out In the wet, And raises her skirt just a wee little bit, All men will endeavor a clear sight to get-I never could understand. 
Just why men from Kansas refuse to wear socks, I never could understand; Why Hebrews get mad when you yell "Sheenie Mox," I never could understand. The women are wielding a powerful pen, Declaring all work should be open to them; But why they insist that typewriters be men, I never could understand. 
Why "Hubble" won't eat when his wife makes the bread, I never could understand; Why an Irishman so loves to hit at a head, I never could understand. Why kissing's considered so awful a sin. Why Willie, when feeling her breath on his chin, Will get so frustrated when papa steps in, I never could understand. 
Why plumbers are never admitted in Heaven, I never could understand; Why bull dogs are always so hungry at 'leven, I never could understand. One night I had been with my girl to a dance; We were parting, when suddenly I caught a glance Of doggie-just why he so fancied my pants, I never could understand. 
How aldermen always grow wealthy so quick, I never could understand; Why the first cigar makes a young man, oh, so sick, I never could understand. Why the bicycle riders assume such a hump, Why the mother-in-law is considered a chump. 
Why a man like Jim Weaver e'er took to the stump, I never could understand. 
Why the Mayor of this city wears three-dollar pants, I never could understand; Why a woman goes shopping with only ten cents I never could understand. She'll enter the door in a millionaire way, Price laces and velvets, and hours will stay, Then tell them she'll come again some other dayShe's a thing I can not understand.