Title: American Old Time Song Lyrics
Subject: Traditional & Folk Music
Author: www.traditionalmusic.co.uk
Keywords: Old time music, American, oldtimey, bluegrass

Fogarthy's Umbrella - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
FOGARTHY'S UMBRELLA. Copyright, 1894, by Frank Harding. Words and Music by Acton E. Kelly. 
There's grief among the gang, and indignation, too, There's such a change in Fogarthy of late; It's not consumption that he's got, nor soft'ning of the brain, But worse, we fear, far worse will be his fate. He puts on a clean white shirt ev'ry evening after work, And a necktie that they call a four-in-hand; We don't care so much for that-it's the umbrella that he's got, And that's the thing we cannot understand. 
Chorus. We don't care how be walks, we don't care how he talks, For we know he's a decent sort of fellow; But a plumber's assistant, no matter how refined, Should never carry such an umbrella. 
It has a nob upon the top like a potato in decline. And in German silver spots it's breaking out; Like Cleopatra's Needle, it's for show and not for use, But what it's really for we are in doubt. He wears a three-inch collar that you'd think would cut his throat. And around his waist he ties a silken band; We don't care so much for that-it's the umbrella that he's got, And that's the thing we cannot understand. 
Chorus. We don't care how he walks, we don't care how he talks, For we know he's a decent sort of fellow; But a truck-driver's secretary, no matter how intellectual, Should never carry such an umbrella. 
They say that it is loaded and liable to go off, While others, When they see it, stand: amazed; And when he holds it at an angle of forty-five degrees, The girls on the block are nearly dazed. He wears patent leather shoes, number nines instead of twelves, And striped stockings that are beautiful and grand: We don't care so much for that-it's the umbrella that he's got, And that's the thing we cannot understand. 
Chorus. We don't care how he walks, we don't care how he talks, For we know he's a decent sort of fellow; But a bartender's side-de-camp, no matter how accomplish'd, Should never carry such an umbrella.