American Old Time Song Lyrics: 40 Things That Make A Man Feel Like A Fool

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 40

THINGS THAT MAKE A MAN FEEL LIKE A FOOL.
Copyright, 1885, by White, Smith & Co.
Words and Music by Sam. Lucas.

Don't go to get shaved with no hair on your face,
It will make a man feel like a fool;
If you lose all the money you bet on a race,
It will make a man feel like a fool.
If you take a young lady to see a new play
And Invite her to supper at a fash'nable cafe.
Put your hand in your pocket with no money to pay-
It will make a man feel like a fool.

If you're asked for the time when you've only a chain,
It will make a man feel like a fool;
If your umbrella turns inside out in the rain.
It will make a man feel like a fool.
If you ask a young lady to take a short stroll,
And your tailor steps up before you are aware
And asks you to settle that little affair-
It will make a man feel like a fool.

If you meet a young lady, all satin and lace,
It will make a man feel like a fool;
If you get but one glimpse of her beautiful face,
It will make a man feel like a fool.
If you lay your band on her shoulder so bold
And she lifts her vail, and it's then you behold
A tough old maiden, some sixty years old-
It will make a man feel like a fool.

Don't step on a car when you've just paid your rent,
It makes a man feel like a fool;
When the conductor comes 'round and you haven't a cent,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
You're dressed up in style so nobby and nice,
Your necktie is made out of satin or lace,
Step off the wrong way and fall flat on your face-
It makes a man feel like a fool.

If a man has been married some ten or twelve years,
It makes a man feel like a fool;
If his wife strikes a ton. and she has made him shed tears,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
He meets with a lady of whom he knows well,
And asks her to partake of some wine, nice and cool;
His wife pokes her head in and says, "Ah there!"-
It makes a man feel like a fool.