American Old Time Song Lyrics: 19 French Flats

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 19

FRENCH_FLATS.
As sung with great success by Tony Pastor.

I'll sing of a charming retreat,
Where I have been lately residing,
With everything cozy and neat,
My neighbors are sweet and confiding;
It's furnished in elegant style.
Rich carpets and soft Turkish mats-
And now I have something to tell you
Of the people who live in French flats.

Chorus.
French flats are charming retreats,
For beautiful belles, for elegant swells;
French flats are charming retreats,
But, oh, they would never suit me.

There's an old Yankee lady from Maine,
Who lives with her dear " married daughter,
All day you will hear her complain,
Of the smoke, and the gas, and the water;
There's an old maid who keeps herself jolly,
With parrots, and poodles, and cats;
And a barber, with eye melancholy,
May be found in those fancy French flats.-Chorus.

There's an actor of fame and renown,
Who practices terrible pieces;
He paces the floor up and down,
While grandly his passion increases;
There's a musical man with a flute,
He knows all the new-fashioned airs,
And the girl with her grand concertina,
Can be heard up the five flights of stairs.-Chorus.

Now often I'm out very late,
And when I get home I've a failing
For opening some other man's door,
And then be thrown over the railing;
Thro' long, narrow hallways I roam,
In terror ray heart pit-a-pat;
Oh! you, who possess your own dwellings,
Keep clear of those charming French flats.-Chorus.

Spoken-You know those cozy, convenient apartments which
they call French flats. They've got to be very fashionable, you
know. You're bound to go up in the world when you live in
them. Up five pairs of stairs. They have all the modern
improvements. You can have the morning paper brought up on the
dumb waiter. A friend of mine got married lately, and after a
pleasant wedding tour I found him with his lovely bride at the
Fifth Avenue Hotel. He asked what sort of a house she would
like for their honeymoon. Oh, lovely! she said, do take a-
French flats are charming retreats, &c.