PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!
Written and sung by Sam Devere.
I once knew a fellow who never was well,
He was always complaining of ills;
For ever and ever he never was done
Of swallowing boxes of pills;
He'd wake in the night, and yell at his wife
To jump out of bed and be quick,
And make him a plaster, and get him some pills,
He knew he was going to be sick.
'Twas pills, pills from morning till night,
What ailed him he never could tell;
He took all the medicines ever was known,
But still he ceuld never get well.
If a cold or a pain in the stomach he got,
'Twould scare him so he couldn't speak;
He'd jump into bed-eat nothing but pills,
And poultice his head for a week;
His wife, poor woman, was nearly wore out,
He always kept her on the run,
She swore she'd go to the druggist's no more,
So he bought in his pills by the ton.-Chorus.
It's ended at last, his troubles are o'er,
There is many a poultice to make;
He got up one night with a cramp in his heel,
To try and find something to take;
But that was the last of him ever was seen,
He skirmished wiihout any light;
He swallowed some nitro-glycenne,
Which blowed the poor man out of sight.-Chorus