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Professor Bruns.
There ouce lived iu Dogdom a dog of great worth, Sir Ponto, distinguished for fashion and birth; His lady, for virtue and beauty as famed; And three puppy sons � Carlo, Snap, and Dash named.
It being the season for parties and balls, For exchanging of visits, and making of calls, Sir Ponto resolved, with his fair lady's leave, Next week, at his mansion, his friends to receive.
So yonng Master Dash was directed to write, And his friends to a dinner, next week, to invite; But the ladies expressly to tell, one and all, That the party would close with an elegant ball.
The excitement the news caused in Dogdom was
great; Both old dogs and young dogs prepared for the
fete; Each fully determined to use all his might, His very best leg to put foremost that night.
Such a brushing of coats and a trimmiug of caps Iu all former dog-days ne'er took place, perhaps; Shawls, laces, and robes were examined with care, And ornaments purchased to deck off their hair.
On the long-wished-for day, exactly at five, The guests in their coaches began to arrive; And were ushered up-stairs by waiting-men mon�keys, Dressed out in a style that became lordly flunkies.
Sir Ponto received them with true courtly grace, With bows and with greetings, and smiles on his
face; While his lady declared how delighted she was To see her dear friends, and to shake their dear
For a while they engaged in agreeable chat, Now talking of this, and now talking of that, Till the butler appeared in a full suit of red, And said, with a bow, that the table was spread.
Of the various dishes composing the treat� Of the roast and the boiled, of the fish, fowl, and meat;
Of the wines and the fruits, of the puddings and
pies� Sir Ponto had ordered abundant supplies.
But, alas! disappointments our best schemes
await; Nor are dogs, more than mortals, exempted by
fate. While we're looking for Joy, Sorrow enters the
door, And dangers attend us behind and before.
While Beau Pincher was handing a slice of rat-pie To Miss Flora, whose beauty had fixed every eye, A monkey, in handing a dish of hot soup, Spilled it over her paw and her silk-covered hoop!
The guests, in confusion, now each one arose� Some examined her paw, some examined her
clothes ; Some plied their smell-bottles, and some plied their
fan ; While the monkeys in terror around the room ran.
" You wretch of a monkey!" the angry host said, " You richly deserve I should break your big
head! Be off with you, quick, you villainous scamp, Or I'll flatten your nose with this kerosene-lamp!
" Miss Flora, my dear, I am really ashamed� That chuckle-head monkey's alone to be blamed ; I hope that your sweet paw don't feel any pain : Your dress we'll have scoured and lustred again."
On Miss Flora's left side sat a long - nosed grey�hound,
Who, sharing the scalding, leaped up with a bound,
And seizing poor Pug by the calf of his leg,
Made him howl, and for mercy most lustily beg.
Miss Pussy then jumped up, and with her sharp
claws Inflicted some scratches on both of his jaws; While the bull-dog displayed his great, terrible
teeth, As if at one mouthful he meant him to eat.
Thus surrounded, poor Pug, in frantic despair, With a shriek, leaped high o'er their heads in the air,

E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III