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     M is for the many times you made me
     O is for the other times you tried
     T is for those tawdry frat house weekends
     H is for the hell that's in your eyes
     E is for your everlasting passion
     R is for the ruin you made of me

     Put them all together, they spell M O T H E R
     And that's just what I think I'm going to be.


     F is for your friendly correspondence
     A is for my answer to your note
     T is for the tearful sad occasion
     H is for your hope I'll be the goat
     E is for the ease with which I made you
     R is for the rube you think I'll be

     Put them all together, they spell F A T H E R
     And that's a rap you'll never pin on me.

The way I heard it on an album called "Bawdy Songs Go to

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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III