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(Marlin Spike Werner)

     I'm-a sayin "Goodbye" to Kleenex--
     An' it really is a terrible shame;
     I'm a-blowin' my nose in paper towels
     Since Kleenex lost its name.
Grandmaw swore by Kleenex,
Mamma said it was grand,
But the faintest breeze from my weakest sneeze
And Lordy won't you look at my hand

Note: The following verses were submitted by party/parties unknown:

I'm bad to take hay fever
My nose can itch be damned
I grab me a great big breath, and 'CHEW!
Now won't you look at my hand.

     I'm-a sayin' "Goodbye" to Kleenex--
     'Cause the tissue ain't the same:
     I'm a-blowin' my nose in a paper towel
     Since Kleenex lost its name.

I grabbed a Kleenex tissue
To wipe my baby's face
Now his mouth is all pudding and paper pulp
And my hand is a disgrace

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