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It told me the goldarndest news That ever you did hear, My heart it is a-bustin' So please excuse this tear.
I'll tell you what it was, boys, You'll bust your sides I know; For when I read that letter You ought to seen poor Joe. My knees gave 'way beneath me, And I pulled out half my hair; And if you ever tell this now, You bet you'll hear me swear.
It said my Sallie was fickle,
Her love for me had fled,
That she had married a butcher,
Whose hair was awful red;
It told me more than that,
It's enough to make me swear,—
It said that Sallie had a baby
And the baby had red hair.
Now I've told you all that I can tell About this sad affair, 'Bout Sallie marrying the butcher And the baby had red hair. But whether it was a boy or girl The letter never said, It only said its cussed hair Was inclined to be red. i7