An Oysters Love - song lyrics 
American Old-time song lyrics from www.traditionalmusic.co.uk 
AN OYSTERS LOVE. Copyright, 1891, by Chas. F. Pidgin. Words by Chas. F. Pidgin. Music by W. J. D. Leavitt 
A bivalve once did fall in love, of course, with a female oyster; his shell he opened when he proposed, his words they, of course, rejoiced her. Now Mister Oyster was haut ton, he was a Blue Point and wealthy, While she from Shrewsbury River came, and they were both young and healthy. 
Refrain. Yes, the bivalve heart has a beat that's full; There are those who scorn and deride It; But I speak of love that sweetly grows In an oyster for one beside It. For an oyster's love Is a passion strong, Though an uncouth shell conceals it; On! how can we scorn a love so true. When the pearl within reveals it? 
They met one day at dinner-time, while he on a half-shell rested; She was. I must confess the truth, in pickle, of her robes divested. His furtive glance fell on her form, by love then his heart was shattered; He wished that fate had willed that both should escalloped be or battet'd.-Ref 
And next he thought it had been best if they had been stewed au nat'rel; He'd thanked his stars with all his might if fried with his heart's collat'ral. A pan-roast, too, It seemed to him, would offer a chance to win her; And then a cold sweat chilled his brow, for the guests came in to dinner.-Ref 
Then to his heart a sweet thought came; true love, there is naught can hamper. A gourmet took him on a fork, our youth down his throat did scamper. The gourmet then looked round the board, Bonne bouche for his throat to tickle; Oh! joy! oh! happiness supreme, for his eye fell on the pickle.-Refrain. 
The youth, I've said, had gone below, the fork left a wound, 'twas burning. But still his heart was safe and sound, though filled with a loving yearning. What's this he sees? my love, she comes, and she in his arms alighted; Though life could not their loving bless, yet by death both were united.-Ref.