THE BROADWAY SWELL AND THE BOWERY BUM.
Copyright, 1892, by Frank Harding:.
Bum.-Oh, mister, will you please give me a nick-I want to eat.
Swell.-Oh, no, sir, by your looks and dress I think you are a beat.
Bum.-You are mistaken, my dear sir, I'm only broken down.
Swell.-While I'm in luck I'm never stuck; I've always got a crown.
Swell.-For I'm a Broadway swell.
Bum.-And I'm a Bowery bum;
I give up the booze;
On my feet I've no shoes,
And it's all on account of rum.
Swell.-But I always do the grand, with my nobby cane in hand;
Yes, I am the pet of the ladies, you bet, and by them I will stand.
Swell.-Well, my good man, where did you come from? where were
you born? and what's your name?
Bum.-Where did I come from, where was I born, and what's my
name! I'm from New York; was born on Fifth Avenue; my name is
Swell.-Paul Etler! why I know you well-at least, I knew you when
I was a little boy. My name is Louis Markham.
Bum.-I knew you well; why didn't you notice me before?
Swell.-Because you wear a ragged jacket.
Bum.-Did you ever hear what Bobby Burns, the great Scotch poet,
said about the ragged jacket?
Swell.-No; what did he say? Let me hear.
Recitation by Bum.
Although I'm but a workingman, I live by honest labor;
I always do the best I can to assist a needy neighbor:
Content, in health, is all my wealth, with honesty to back it;
My motive's pure, although I'm poor, I respect a ragged jacket.
Swell.-Well, here, my friend, may this cheer your lonely heart (gives
money), and may it never be said that a friend in good circumstances
ever went back on a friend in hard luck.
Bum.-Oh, thank you, sir; I'm much obliged; to-night myrent I'll pay.
Swell.-I think you're honest after all; we'll meet again some day.
Bum.-And should you die before that time, I'll offer you my love.
Swell.-A ragged Jacket is permitted yonder up above.
Chorus (Bum and Swell sing together).
For he's a Broadway swell, and he's a Bowery bum;
He'll give up the booze; on his feet he's no shoes, and it's all on account of
But he always does the grand, with his nobby cane in hand; [rum,
Yes, be is the pet of the ladies, you bet, and by them he will stand.