In the Baggage Coach Ahead.
Parody-Written by Robert P. Burns.
On a dark moonlight night, us a train battled on,
All the passengers had gone to bunk,
Except one young man with a jag on his hands,
Who sat there with a bowed-down drunk.
This innocent one commenced laughing just then;
He laughed till all thought he would split.
A gentle one said, "Won't you, please, stop your noise,
But the man with the jag yelled out "Nit."
Throw him out, said a deaf mute, He's laughing too loud,
I want sleep, so give me a rest.
But never a word said the man with a jag,
And why he laughed so no one had guessed.
Why are you laughing? Please tell me, I pray;
This an old maid then softly said.
Mother-in-law's dead, was the man's glad reply,
And she lies in the coach ahead.
As a train rolled out with a husband satisfied.
Thinking of such happiness-mother-in-law just died.
She'll cut no ice where she is now, all on the train then said.
For others only wished that theirs were in the baggage couch ahead.
Two poor strolling actors, who were strolling the ties
Till a freight train came strolling along,
Which they both got on. and just thinking of pie,
When they caught a smell that was strong:
One to the other said: 'Oh, what can it be?"
Get off! is the nest advice.
The other then said, "It's a corpse on this freight,
Who has just merely run short of ice."
Thinking of his red hair, be took off his hat,
And the red hair then flagged the train,
And with the train crew they start searching each car,
Looking for the supposed corpse in vain,
And in a box car that was up near the lead,
A hobo lay full of booze;
He had caused the smell that was most horrible
Just by taking off both of his shoes.
While the freight stood still, all train crew held their nose,
And on the hobo's feet the engineer turned the hose,
For water brings pictures of good health, and that is ofttimes said.
But one mentioned soap, And the hobo dropped dead in the box car ahead.