BETTER THAN GOLD.
Parody-By Max Rosenfeld.
In a corner barrel-house bar-room sat a number of gay men;
You could tell that they were tough jays, money never troubled them,
When up spoke 'a good thing blokey,' "Come, let's have a whiskey, boys,
Something that will help to drive a man away."
"I will tell you how we'll work it," said a weary Willie guy,
Let us have three wishes, something good and strong;
We'd let Bobby be the first one, he's the best bum we've got here,
I then they listened to a wish that's never wrong:
"Just to have the price of another beer,
Just to have the jug a fellow can get here,
Just to be thrown out quickly through the rear,
Just to see the judge again.
Just to have the blessed same old sixty days,
Just to get the chance to work some other jays,
Just to strike the luck the dandy dust to raise,
Just to be a drunk again."
There they sat, those weary willies, not a blokey drank a beer,
While the same was foaming lively in the glasses standing near,
For the memories of that one price, made them think of other days,
When us buncoes they had worked the poor old jays.
Then a jackpot it was opened by another weary guy;
Your money in a minute I will take,
Four aces is a good thing, so dear to one and all,
And now, my boys, I'll give you all the shake.
Just enough of coin to take me to Clark Street,
Just enough to give all the boys a treat,
Just enough to make me shaky on my feet,
Just to drive a cop away;
Just enough to know I'll ne'er be dry again,
Just enough to keep one out of the pen,
You may wish for many drinks, but all in vain,
Give to me what precious dough can buy.
The bartender, passing through the place, stopped In the bar-room there;
he had a good-sized skate on, and the others had their share.
Just you pony up the price, my lads, before you leave the joint,
Or your mothers will not recognize you, boys.
Still there's a thing that I want yet better than the dough or jag,
Though, perhaps, I may be killed for saying so,
It's that the man who comes in here will kindly buy the drinks,
And not cut up the lunch before he goes.
Just to keep a padlock fastened on the lunch,
Just to see no more a lazy fellow munch,
Just to keep them all from getting In a bunch,
Just give another man a chance.
Just to get a poison warranted tramps to kill,
Just to see one of them that, has bud his fill,
He's the fellow that completely fills my bill,
Then I can had a happy life.