American Old Time Song Lyrics: 46 You Cant Fool The Dutch

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 46

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YOU CAN'T FOOL THE DUTCH.
Copyright, MDCCCXCV, by Henry J. Wehman.
Words and Music by Harry S. Miller.

Calahan is a neighbor of mine, he lives next door to me;
Not a cent he pays for rent, while I pay twenty-three;
A Dutchman, who owns me house, of course, owns Callahan's as well;
How he gets out of paying the rent is more than I can tell;
I've just got information from me cousin Dan Magee,
Who says that Calahan, some day, the Dutchman's heir will be;
I think he's hypnotized him, if there's any such a thing.
When Calahan wants a dollar or two, he's only got to sing:

Chorus.
Oh! you can fool the Scotchman, and can fool the French,
And you can all fool the English, if you know how to commence;
The Chinee And the Dago, well, they don't amount to much-
You might fool the Irish, but you can't fool the Dutch.

Now, the poor Dutchman some time ago was taken sick, poor man,
Thought he'd die, so by and by he sent for Calahan.
Says he, "My old friend, I have no heirs; I'll deed all I have to you."
"It's the wisest thing," says Calahan, "I think, that you could do."
The Dutchman Boon got better, then, bedad, be had no home;
The properly that once was his, now Calahan did own;
And he pays rent (the same as I) to Calahan, you see;
And it's every month he Calls for it, and this to me does sing:

Chorus.
Oh! you can fool the Scotchman, and can fool the French,
And you can all fool the English, if you know how to commence;
The Chinee And the Dago, well, they don't amount to much-
You can't fool the Irish, but you might fool the Dutch.
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III