American Old Time Song Lyrics: 42 Theyd Never Tumble If The House Fell Down

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 42

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Written and sung by Jas. McAvoy.

There's lots of jokes that I could tell you would not understand,
And jokes that are good we're looking for, they're always in demand;
We've told good jokes to stupid folks, they would not even grin,
They couldn't get it in their heads just where the point came in.

They'd never tumble if the house fell down,
They'd never tumble if a house fell down;
There's a million Rubes just like I speak of living in the town,
They'd never tumble if a house fell down.

Those great big hats the ladies wear, they're fully two feet wide,
In shows they'll sit in front of you, they move from side to side;
They're lately wearing smaller ones, we thank the Lord for that,
We often heard folks shout and screech, "Where did you get that hat?"

They wouldn't tumble if a church caved in,
At last they took a tumble, but when did they begin?
The men they'd holler, "Down in front "for forty seats around,
But they wouldn't tumble if a house fell down.

Smoking cigarettes is just as bad as chewing gum,
I've often wondered where the girls they got that habit from;
On the street you'll see them every hour in the day,
Their mouths work up And down just like a truck horse chewing hay.

They wouldn't tumble if a brick yard fell,
If a gas house exploded they could never tell;
On the backs of chairs and here And there, they stick it all around,
They'd never tumble if their teeth fell down.
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III