American Old Time Song Lyrics: 42 Fogarthys Umbrella
Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 42
FOGARTHY'S UMBRELLA.
Copyright, 1894, by Frank Harding.
Words and Music by Acton E. Kelly.
There's grief among the gang, and indignation, too,
There's such a change in Fogarthy of late;
It's not consumption that he's got, nor soft'ning of the brain,
But worse, we fear, far worse will be his fate.
He puts on a clean white shirt ev'ry evening after work,
And a necktie that they call a four-in-hand;
We don't care so much for that-it's the umbrella that he's got,
And that's the thing we cannot understand.
Chorus.
We don't care how be walks, we don't care how he talks,
For we know he's a decent sort of fellow;
But a plumber's assistant, no matter how refined,
Should never carry such an umbrella.
It has a nob upon the top like a potato in decline.
And in German silver spots it's breaking out;
Like Cleopatra's Needle, it's for show and not for use,
But what it's really for we are in doubt.
He wears a three-inch collar that you'd think would cut his throat.
And around his waist he ties a silken band;
We don't care so much for that-it's the umbrella that he's got,
And that's the thing we cannot understand.
Chorus.
We don't care how he walks, we don't care how he talks,
For we know he's a decent sort of fellow;
But a truck-driver's secretary, no matter how intellectual,
Should never carry such an umbrella.
They say that it is loaded and liable to go off,
While others, When they see it, stand: amazed;
And when he holds it at an angle of forty-five degrees,
The girls on the block are nearly dazed.
He wears patent leather shoes, number nines instead of twelves,
And striped stockings that are beautiful and grand:
We don't care so much for that-it's the umbrella that he's got,
And that's the thing we cannot understand.
Chorus.
We don't care how he walks, we don't care how he talks,
For we know he's a decent sort of fellow;
But a bartender's side-de-camp, no matter how accomplish'd,
Should never carry such an umbrella.