DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU HEAR FROM ME.
Copyright, 1894, by Henry J. Wehman.
Written and sung by Jas. McAvoy.
I used to live on promises, until a while ago
I found it was not policy, I'd nothing for to show;
I trusted folks and friends that sent me letters through the mail,
One certain line they'd always write, twos never known to fail.
They'd say, "Remember, don't do anything until you bear from me,
There's chances I can fix it, in a day or so I'll see;"
The only thing was wait, of course, that's how they pulled my knee,
When they'd write me, "Don't do anything until you hear from me."
That time I hadn't worked a lick for very near a year.
My grocery man and butcher every day were looking queer;
One day I braced a friend for ten, he didn't have a nick,
So that night he sent a postal card, that postal made me sick.
It said, "Remember. don't do anything until you hear from me,"
And telegrams, next afternoon, he sent, me two or three;
I paid the charges on them all, he sent them C. O. D.,
They read, "Now don't do anything until you hear from me."
Says I, "This gag will never do, I'll hustle for myself,"
I burned those notes and telegrams I saved upon the shelf;
At last I got a job, and got my diamonds out of soak,
then I got a letter from my friend, it stated he was broke.
I wrote him back, "Now, don't do anything until you hear from me,"
It sounded awful funny, but I didn't care a D;
A Muldoon picnic company left him out in Kankakee,
I answered, "Don't do anything until you hear from me."
Now, traveling is my business, so I leave my wife behind.
Still I send her lots of presents, for I am ever good and kind;
I wrote and said, "I'll send a baby carriage home to you."
She sent a hearty answer back, the lines were short and few.
She says, "Now, Jimmy, don't do anything until you hear from me,
For mistakes are apt to happen in most any family:
You are getting off your noodles, Jim, or joking you must be,
No, Jimmy, don't do anything until you hear from me."
A friend of mine a month ago got married on the sly,
he told me confidentially to keep the matter shy;
The wedding it was secretly, against her mother's will,
So not to start a scandal I advised him keep it still.
And said, "Remember, don't do anything until you hear from me,
Don't dare to let her mother know, she never will agree;"
He told her mother, now she got him pinched, he can't get free,
Now I told him not to do anything until he heard from me.
A couple in my neighborhood were suing for divorce,
The husband swore his wife she was the one to blame, of course;
'Twas decided in her favor, and the jury made it short,
'Twas "Not guilty," then the clerk he hallooed, "Order in the court."
And then the Judge said, "Don't, do anything until you hear from me,"
He called her husband to the bar to pay her lawyer's fee;
I was a witness in the case, says I, "Old girl, you're free,
And I hope you won't do anything until you hear from me."
How many ladies write to me, my services to engage,
To put them in the business so they'll act upon the stage;
The photographs of their faces look like rainy Friday nights,
I answer all the pretty ones, especially those in lights.
I write them back, "Now don't do anything until you hear from me,"
Their ages run from thirty-five as high as fifty-three,
And nothing else will suit them but an opera company,
So day say they can't do anything until they bear from me.