AFTER BREAKFAST GO TO BED.
Copyright, 1894. by Henry J. Wehman.
Written and sung by Jas. McAvoy.
Lately I came in from Yonkers, I am a stranger in the town,
I've escaped the bunco steerers here and there while moping round;
Friends of mine who are well posted put me on to all I know,
Told me when I struck the city just exactly where to go.
Go and see the Crystal Maze, then go up to Central Park,
When you're in that pleasant quarter, up to Harlem take a walk;
Take the trolley out to Fordham. back again to Harlem Bridge,
Then get on the Elevated, you will find out which is which.
Get off some place on the Bowery, mind and see what you're about,
Take good care of what you drink, or you might drink a knocker out;
Should some lady say "Good evening," call you Perkins for a stall,
If she asks you home to supper, don't go near her flat at all.
Inquire and call on Stephen Brodie, tell him that I sent you there,
He's a friend of everybody, Steve will treat you fair and square;
Then no down to Chinatown, for Chinatown is something new,
Take a walk through Baxter street, and wire me if you get through.
Chatham Square there is a museum, in the rear there's poke rooms,
If they touch you, you won't feel it; try and next get in the Tombs;
Then go down to City Hall and count the bums that's in the park,
Look up at the World building, you'll get dizzy as a galk.
On the Bridge you walk to Brooklyn, Coney Island take the train,
Why not, while you're at the Island, go and see John Y. McKauef
John will make It pleasant for you, I don't see why John Y. can't,
If you're drunk or if you're sober, he'll show you the Elephant.
Then jump on the iron steamer, you will have a pleasant sail.
But when you're mixing in with people do not mix in with mixed ale;
Take the cable back to Bowery, walk around and see the sights,
If the Night Owls are in the London, go and see the girls in tights.
Go through Houston, go through Bleecker, South Fifth ave., Thompson st.,
No matter, try and not get twisted while you're tramping on that beat;
If you're lost ask some policeman show you up to Union Square,
Stand around Joe Schmidt's awhile, you're apt to meet Jim Richmond there.
If you're up Broadway drop in Nick Engle's, that's a nice place for to go,
Buy a drink, then while you're waiting you see lots of folks you know;
But if you're locked out, go to Proctors, sleepy, tired, and nearly dead,
After Proctor's go to breakfast, after breakfast go to bed.