American Old Time Song Lyrics: 41 Couldn't Stand The Press
Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 41
COULDN'T STAND THE PRESS.
As sung by J. S. Berry.
I'm going to sing a song, I feel so much perplexed,
I'll try to get along, and so I'll take my text;
Where my text is found I'm sure you couldn't guess,
Spoken-You'll find it in the fourteenth chapter of Webster's Dictionary,
where it states emphatically that
He couldn't stand the press.
I started a paper here, when papers were in vogue;
I started it and called a man in town a rogue,
And broke the laws, I guess,
Spoken-He hit me an awful blow; I told him not to do that again, for if he
did, I couldn't stand the press.
I went into a drinking house, I felt a little dry,
I went up to the bar, called for a glass of "rye;"
He pointed to a sign, 'twas nothing more or less-
Spoken-" No trust on this bar;" so, as I had no money,
He couldn't stand the press.
I next a-courting went, upon a Sunday night,
I tried my best to be exceedingly polite;
I plead with Mary Ann my future life to bless,
Spoken-She looked at me for a few minutes, and said she would like to be
married, but she was afraid. She couldn't stand the press.
So now I'll end my song; in that you'll say I'm right,
If you'll call in again, I'll sing some other night;
Our prices here are small, they couldn't well be less,
Spoken-So, whenever you can, give us a call; we'd let you in for nothing,
but times are so hard, We couldn't stand the press.