American Old Time Song Lyrics: 40 Funny Without Being Vulgar

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 40

Funny without Being Vulgar.
Written by Harry Brett. Composed by Charles Ingle.

I am told that you can't get a good comic song
Which is funny without being vulgar;
Though lion comiques conscientiously long
To be funny without being vulgar.
Great authors say this state of things they deplore,
To the papers long letter! they write by the score.
Which sensible people consider a ban;
They're funny without being vulgar.

I was told by the man who composed this sweet lay,
It was funny without being vulgar;
There was nothing suggestive, or out of the way,
It was funny without being vulgar.
What's more he declared none could make a complaint,
As the subject was good and the moral was quaint,
And as for the tune it was fit for a saint,
It was funny without, being vulgar.

I once had a row with a man in the street,
It was funny without being vulgar;
he took off hi's hat and said, "Sir, you're a cheat";
he was funny without being vulgar.
I hit him a backhanded blow on the cheek,
A magistrate fined me 'ten bob or a week,'
And now when I meet him the language we speak
Is funny without being vulgar.

General servants will soon be a thing of the past;
They're funny without being vulgar;
They play the piano, and read and write fast;
They're funny without being vulgar;
They're better than 'missus,' call master a 'lout,'
Can flourish their French and their German about,
And will stay on condition the work is put hout;
They're funny without being vulgar.

I once had a dip in the beautiful sea,
That's funny without being vulgar;
I thought I would bathe from the beach, it was free,
That's funny without being vulgar.
A man stole my clothes, which was paltry indeed;
I had to cut home at the top of my speed,
In a costume consisting of bits of sea-weed;
That's funny without being vulgar.

May fair ladies smoke? is the question to-day;
That's funny without being vulgar;
I've asked the dear gins, and they all of 'em say
'Twould be funny without being vulgar.
Bow nice it will be my dear pipe-loving sirs.
When you run short of 'baccy,' which often occurs,
All you'll do is to run to your wife and sneak hers.
That's funny without being vulgar.

Last week I went out in a cab for a ride,
That's funny without being vulgar.
I swaggered a little on getting inside.
Which was funny without bing vulgar.
I put out my head and said."Cabby, stop here!"
I gave him a bob, which he took with a sneer,
And the way that he wished me a 'A Happy New Year'
Was funny without being vulgar.

I once took part in a beautiful play,

Which was funny without being vulgar.
The piece was produced at a gay matinee,
It was funny without being vulgar.
'Twas not a success, I am bound to admit;
The only one person who did make a hit
Was a gent with a brick, at the back of the pit;
He was funny without being vulgar.

Encore Verse.
Allow me to thank you in accents polite,
That's funny without being vulgar;
I gladly would try to amuse you all night,
That's funny without being vulgar.
I fain would respond to your kindly encore.
But unless I sing verses I've warbled before,
I'm afraid that at ptesent I've not any more
That are funny without being vulgar.