Copyright, 1892, by Frank Tousey.
Words by Tom Conley. Music by Felix McGlennon.
Of all the fixes in my life I've had a few I know,
And I got in a dreadful one not very long ago;
While sitting in the parlor, telling tales to Mary Ann,
I thought I'd better leave, for I just spotted her old man.
And I was fixed, awkwardly fixed,
Her brother he had glued the chair for play,
After that there was some fun for her father had a gun,
With the seat out of my pants I walked away.
With "sherbet" I was loaded going home the other night;
Well, I climbed up a lamp post with intent to get a light,
The little door I opened and I shut my head inside,
I lighted my cigar and then to tumble down I tried.-Chorus.
My little dog and I one day went to a butcher's shop,
He walked all 'round a sausage machine, then mounted on the top;
He poked his little nose inside, to sniff it, I'll be bound,
His tail it caught the handle, then the thing went round and round. - Chorus.