THE WORLD'S FAIR.
By Eddie O'Brien. Sung by Lew Hawkins.
This world is full of wonders now, no matter where you go,
They say that wonders never cease, and I believe it's so;
The wonder of all wonders now, they say so everywhere,
Is going to be Chicago, where, they have the great world's fair.
Between all nations of this earth there'll be a great contest,
They'll all produce great wonders, just to see who has the best;
There's going to be glorious times, so every one be there:
I'll tell you of the funny things you'll see while at the fair.
Mrs. Langtry on a Texas steer, a Dutchman that will not drink beer,
A Chicago boodler that never took a bribe;
A ladies1 contest chewing gum, a fortune for the biggest bum,
Also a phrobismatic that never took a bribe.
They're going to have a mother-in-law that never passed her son-in-law,
Or walked upon his bosom till she dragged out all his hair;
The elevated road, they say, will kill a Chinaman each day:
So have your washing done, I pray, before the great world's fair.
There'll be all kinds of wonders, yes, there'll be all kinds of fun;
Queen Victoria will be singing "Johnny, get your gun."
They're going to have some preachers there who never committed sins,
I also hear there will appear a pair of orphans' twins.
The Home Rule then it will be passed and hung upon the wall,
A four-round fighter who will swear he cannot best them all;
They're going to have Niagara Falls suspended in the air,
Just to give us all a shower bath while visiting the fair.
A dude without a cigarette, a gambling man that will not bet,
Also a pair of whiskers that the wind has not blown through;
A policeman that is good and kind, a girl that will not change her mind.
Going to have an oyster from the McKinley tariff stew,
Speaker Reed will be there, too, with babe McKee play peek-a-boo;
Nancy Hanks will trot a mile in a second, I declare:
Jack the ripper will be there, chasing people with long hair;
You'd better get your hair cut before you take in the fair.