THE HUSBANDS' BOAT.
Come, listen to my ditty: I'm a merchant in the city,
I've got a wife, the best in life, she's forty, fat and fair;
And though I love her dearly, it happened very queerly,
I sent her down to Long Branch, as she wanted a change of air.
Spoken-And though I didn't want to lose the old girl a man likes to go
about sometimes- so she went by train, I meant to follow by
The husbands' boat, the husbands' boat,
Jolly old boys when we're afloat;
The husbands boat, the husbands' boat,
For Long Branch in the morning.
We had a loving parting, and as the train was starting
My wife called out: "Don't go about to see the sights in town."
Of course, I said: "O no, dear, without you 'twould be slow, dear;
So, by the boat, on Saturday you may expect me down."
Spoken -I kept my promise, and didn't go to more than five concert halls in
one night -the Eagle, Highbury-barn and the National Gallery don't count, of
On Saturday according the boat I soon was boarding,
And with a lot of husbands got, a jolly set were we;
Imagine my surprise, then, I chanced to turn my eyes, When
I saw a lovely damsel who was looking straight at me.
Spoken-Now, when a man's wife's been away for a week, they oughtn't to
allow female women on board- Chorus.
We got in conversation, I stood a cold collation,
We soon got near to Long Branch pier, the time went quickly by.
Around her taper waist, then, my arm I just had placed, When
I heard a voice that brought me to my senses instantly.
Spoken- "Oh! look, Ma, there's father-Isn't it kind of him to bring your
dressmaker with him on board." - Chorus.
My feelings won't bear painting, my wife with rage was fainting;
I'll draw the veil upon a scene so painfully severe.
Spoken- Married men!
Be careful, I entreat you, your wives may come to meet you;
Then take your arm away when you're in sight of Long Branch pier.
My wife said: "Dear, now really, indeed I speak sincerely,
I think you'd better take the rail when you come down again."
Indeed, I don't invent it, you may think that I meant it,
But every Saturday, somehow, I chanced to miss the train,
Spoken-So, with the old girl's permission, I returned once more to--Chorus.