Burke, Magee and the Brick.
Written by Joe Lawrence. Music by Chas. Miller.
When the whistle it blew six, there upon a pile of bricks.
Sat Paddy Burke and his friend named Mike Magee;
They were talking of the fight they had on Sunday night.
While they were at the widow Grady's spree.
Says Michael unto Pat: "My head feels rather flat,
So what do you say to work we do not go?"
Says Paddy then to Mike, "An idea me does strike;
We'll toss a brick to see if it's yes or no."
The idea was this: they would toss the brick on high;
If in the air it'd stay they would go to work that day;
But if it should fall to the job they'd bid good-bye;
So Burke and Magee tossed the brick.
So Paddy grabbed the brick and tried to toss it quick,
And to his arm he gave a sudden twist;
Now Mike, who was standing by, got hit right in the eye;
Then a welt he gave to Paddy with his list.
They had it up and down; they rolled all o'er the ground.
Till suddenly Pat he espied the boss:
Very quick he stopped the fight, the brick grabbed in his right.
Then up in the air the brick did toss.
The brick then did fall and struck the boss's hat;
"We're in for it," says Mike. "You bet we are," says Pat.
The boss was yelling murder, for the brick had knocked him flat;
Was it Burke or Magee that tossed the brick?
They rang the police alarm and an ambulance was sent.
Which carried the boss unto a doctor's shop;
While he the plasters laid, Pat and Mike were much afraid
They'd be taken to the station by the cop.
Quick down the street they went, to Murphy's they were bent.
With whiskey they would drive away dull care.
Two dudes, with lots of money, said, "Now wouldn't it be funny
To toss the micks and give them both a scare."
So Clarence collared Mike and Oscar tackled Pat;
"We are two jolly bricks and we're going to knock yop flat;"
"Bricks did you say, well then you'll rue this day;"
So Burke and Magee tossed the bricks.
A policeman came along and quick saw things were wrong:
He hurried Pat and Michael to the jail.
Next morn before the judge, who saw they had a budge,
Says he, "I refuse to let you out on bail;
Which one, Pat or Mike, with the brick your boss did strike?
I'm waiting for an answer, now be quick."
On each other they wouldn't blow and to lie it was no go.
For in his band the judge he held the brick.
The sentence, not the brick, from the judge it then did fall:
"For fear that you will spoil, I'll send you to the isle;
And as we need mechanics to build a good high wall,
I'll give you sixty days at tossing bricks."