American Old Time Song Lyrics: 36 Do As I Tell You

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 36

DO AS I TELL YOU.
Written and Composed by Leslie Reod.

I and a friend of mine, called Joe,
When to a party a few nights ago;
By Jove! it was a brilliant affair,
And the first time I'd been there.
He introduced me to them all.
The dark, the fair, the short, the tall;
And after we had finished tea.
We both sat down, and he said to me:

Chorus.
"Do as I tell you, and you'll do right.
Don't you be nervous or timid at night;
I'll tackle one girl, you tackle two,
And If I get a kiss back, so will you!"

I took the tip he gave to me.
We went in for a glorious spree;
I kissed two sweet girls somehow,
Then there was an awful row.
Their young men both kicked up a fuss,
And swore they'd kill the pair of us;
Then my pal hit one in the eye,
And shouted out as he let fly:

Chorus.
"Do as I tell you, and you'll do right,
I knew that this would end in a fight;
I'll tackle one chap, you tackle two.
And if I get a black eye, so will you!"

While I tackled two chaps, he settled one,
I couldn't see in the game much fun;
And soon to my dismay I found,
That I was sprawling on the ground.
But when at last the policeman came.
The girls cried, "What a horrid shame!"
Then my pal cracked a "copper's "head,
Seized me by the arm and said:

Chorus.
"Do as I tell you, and you'll do right.
Don't let the policemen take us to-night;
There's one on the nob for the man in blue,
Now if I get locked up, so will you!"

At last the policemen collared us both.
To go to the station I was awfully loth;
And when morn before the beak,
I found my voice extremely weak.
And my pal, when brought into court,
To speak to me in vain besought;
But no good, try what dodge he may,
So in dumb show contrived to say:

Chorus.
"Do as I tell you. and you'll do right.
Don't you be nervous or you're In a plight;
And don't you round on the man in blue,
For if I get six months, so will you!"