American Old Time Song Lyrics: 35 The Bad Hotel

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 35

Home Songster main V01 V02 V03 V04 V05 V06 V07 V08 V09 V10 V11 V12 V13 V14 V15 V16 V17 V18 V19 V20 V21 V22 V23 V24 V25 V26 V27 V28 V29 V30 V31 V32 V33 V34 V35 V36 V37 V38 V39 V40 V41 V42 V43 V44 V45 V46 V47 V48 V49 V50 V51 V52 V53 V54 V55 V56 V57 V58 V59 V60 V61 Support Search

Share page  Visit Us On FB

Copyright, 1892, by Willis Woodward & Co.
By Joseph Hart. Sung in Hallen & Hart's "Later On Company."

I will sing of a hotel, of it, take care of it, beware!
It's a place I know quite well, take my advice, for I've been there;
The salt and pepper's good, and the water's pretty fait,
And if you want to eat at all, you must be the first one there.

Butter loud, butter proud, you could find it in a crowd;
Good for Turks, dry-goods clerks, butter that's too strong to walk;
All worn out, gives you gout, always in and never out,
'Margerine, seventeen, strong? well I should shout!

Hash that's fried on each side, hash that comes in with the tide,
Been on drunks, cut in chunks, made from hinges of old trunks;
Kills you quicker than bad liquor, it would make an old lamp flicker,
Neuter gender, like suspenders, hash I well I should snicker.

Doughnuts round, weigh a pound, drop them and they shake the ground,
Doughnuts hard, cooked in lard, good to kill cats in a yard,
Big as boulder, tough old soldier, doughnuts that will break your shoulder,
'Nuts dramatic, 'nuts rheumatic, well I should grow older.

Biscuits light, and so white, used for candles every night.
Full of dust, tough old crust, biscuits that you cannot bite,
Biscuits plain, down from Maine, makes each boarder swear like Cain,
Just like lead, kill you dead, hard? well I'd refrain.

Pies like brick, how they stick, pies that you can buy on tick.
Out of date, 'fectionate, pies that have stood many kicks,
Under weather, tough as leather, crust from bottom you can't tell.
They will give you the dyspepsia, pies? well I should yell.

Onions large, onions small, onions that make morning calls,
On the shelves, speak themselves, onions that wear overalls,
Onions plain, go to your brain, onions that drive you insane,
Onions sweet, served with meat, strong? well I'd exclaim.

Cheese that walks, cheese that talks, cheese that's good for country gawks,
Cheese that votes, cheese that floats, cheese as strong as William goat.
Cheese that mutters, cheese that flutters, cheese that's far worse than the butter,
Cheese that's speckled, cheese that's freckled, cheese? well I should stutter.

Chamber Maids.
Chamber maids don't get paid, you could never guess their age,
Once I tried, she nearly died when you're forty-five I cried.
Sir! she said, I have seen eighteen summers in my time,
I fell dead, only said: How long were you blind?

Soup that's hot soup that's not. soup that's made from Lord knows what,
Soup that's cola, soap that's bold, soap that's over six years old,
Soup that's mean, soup that's lean, bean soup that has never been.
Lamp's tail, ox tail, retail, wholesale, soup? well I should scream.
Download music lyrics PDF file For Printing with (no ads)
Download music lyrics in RTF file For editing / printing with Word and other editing software.
Download music lyrics as PNG Graphic file For inclusion in DTP etc.