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It Takes a Girl to Do It Every Time. Copyright, 1891, by Hitchcock & McCargo Co. Written and Composed by Matt C. Woodward. If you ask a man to tell you all about the human race, He will make you think the men are quite supreme; Yet although the girls are weaker, they can always find a place, For they re never quite so simple as they seem. A man is not content unless a jewel he can flash, Then he thinks that his appearance is sublime; But to make him pawn his diamonds And turn them into cash, Why, it takes a girl to do it every time. That "marriage is a failure," you will hear the men exclaim, And they call it penal servitude for life; Yet I notice that they always seem to get there just the same, For they find it hard to live without a wife. But when it comes to keeping house, the husband knows a heap, And at lighting kitchen fires he's simple prime; But to stop the baby howling, and to send it off to sleep, Why, it takes a girl to do It every time. When men tread on each other's toes they very seldom smile, But the air is blue for many miles around; If you brush the hair the wrong way on a fellow's Sunday tile, The atmosphere with thunder will resound. But let a man upset his soup upon a lady's cloak, Though she feels inclined to perpetrate a crime, Yet a frown is not becoming, so she treats it as a joke, But it takes a girl to do it every t me. There are certain things a man can always do with easy grace, Such as borrowing a dollar bill or two, But to take a lady shopping, And to wear a pleasant face, Is a thing a man can very seldom do. Do you think a man would shopping go from two o'clock till ten With nothing in his pocket but a dime? Would he make them show him all the goods, then say he'll call again? No, it takes a girl to do it every time. 'Tis evening, and the patient wife Is waiting for her hub, Who tells her that his business keeps him late; But at that very moment you should near him at the club Saying, "Hang it, boys, it does her good to wait!" At last he makes a track for home with many a roll and lurch, And he tumbles down the stairs he meant to climb, ) And his little wife believes him when he says he's been to church, Oh, it takes a girl to do it every time.