Written and Composed by Frederick Gilbert
I'll sing a song of London and some people it contains.
From simpletons with empty skulls to sharpers full of brains;
I'll mention first the moodier," who imbibes with one and all,
And not until it's "closing time "for any drink will call.
Why does he want just a little drop more about half-past twelve?
Why is he ready with money galore about half-past twelve?
Simply because it's too late to pay out, then in his pocket he'll delve,
Men such as he are so eager to pay about half-past twelve.
One night at Euston Station I observed a man rush in,
As though some heavy wager he'd made up his mind to win;
His train-the last-as off it puffs, he through the wicket sees,
Then starts on his devotions with a string of "big, big D's."
Why does he stamp on the platform and swear about half-past twelve?
Why like a maniac tear at his hair about half-past twelve?
Simply because the twelve-thirty he's missed, and into strange diggings must
He went out and swore at a coffee-house door about half-past twelve.
The sweet "Blue Bells of Scotland" have been honored by the bard,
Let me now sing and praise the big "Blue Swells of Scotland "yard.
Onr helmeted protector is as watchful as a lynx.
But where he puzzles me is this-he scarcely ever drinks.
Why is the bobby so close to the "pub "about half-past twelve?
Why is his bull's-eye so near to the tab about half-post twelve?
Simply because he's no more than a man, and thirst cannot manage to shelve;
He bundles us out that he then may go in about half-past twelve.
A gas-lit London picture next I'll paint in modest tints,
'Tis that of the young lady who, with luring looks and hints,
Upon your homeward road you meet when midnight's hour is past.
And wonder when she walks so slow how folks can call her "fast."
Why does she give you her sunniest smile about half-past twelve?
Why does she murmur of "waiting awhile" about half-past twelve?
Simply that you may develop your mind, and in moral philosophy delve;
Girls of her stamp are excessively kind when it's half-past twelve.