American Old Time Song Lyrics: 34 The Funny Man

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 34

THE FUNNY MAN.
By James Cnrran. Composed and Sung by T. E. Danville.

Last summer, next winter, the year before last,
A man with a hammer sat breaking his fast;
Some cast-iron cheese-cakes he tried hard to eat.
But they fell down and broke all the corns off his feet.

Chorus.
He laughed; he cried, ha! Ha! ha! ha!
He lived till he died; such a very funny man was he.

He sent for a doctor and stated his case,
The hot tears from his eyes burnt a hole In his face,
But he filled up the hole with some sawdust and tar,
And then with a cricket-match lit his cigar.-Chorus.

The doctor advised him to keep within doors.
So to keep out the cold he filled up all his pores;
Then he poulticed his feet with some Russian shellac.
Which drew all his hair down the neck of his back.- Chorus.

He wasted away, and at last grew so thin
That one morning his eyebrows fell down to his chin;
The blood left his veins, and he lost all his flesh,
Then he watered his whiskers to make 'em look fresh.-Chorus.

One night he got up and a candle he lit,
Then he seized his revolver And soon loaded it.
"I'll stand this no longer," he savagely said.
Then he blew out his-candle And went back to bed- Chorus.