I WAS UNDERNEATH.
Copyright, 1891, by Francis, Day & Hunter.
Written and Composed by George Lester.
The house I live in is "all right," now that we have got
Some acrobats for lodgers (they are a lively lot);
Beside their acrobatic tricks, they lift weights by the score.
But the mischief is, these nimble "fakes" live on the second floor.
And I live underneath, I live underneath; bang on the floor they're flopping.
And hundred-weights keep dropping, while I live underneath.
Last night I'd an adventure with my old crony, Binks;
I've come to the conclusion that we'd too many drinks.
I held him up, although he is the heaviest chap in town,
But my legs gave 'way, and in the mud the pair of us went down.
And I was underneath, I was underneath; yes, Binks, the eighteen "stunner,"
Came wallop! a full "tunner," and I was underneath.
The missus said the other day, "would I be so good
As go down in the cellar and chop her up some wood?"
I'd hardly started chopping, when the plate moved off the hole,
And before I'd time to yell out "Stop!" down came a load of coal.
And I was underneath, I was underneath; no chance I had of "getting,"
The coal they kept upsetting, and I was underneath.
"When married, I will be the boss!" often I would say,
But now I am a husband, things don't work out that way.
To bless me with three sets of twins my wife has been so kind.
And she tells me now "that room in bed for me she cannot find!"
So I sleep underneath, I sleep underneath; snug in the bed she's resting,
While on the boards I'm nesting, for I sleep underneath.