NEVER IN A CASE LIKE THAT.
Copyright, 1891, by M. Witmark & Sons.
Written and Composed by Jas. McAvoy.
I will tell you of a friend of mine, a good old jolly boy;
Yes, a friend he is to me when I am broke;
I have touched him for a fiver often, time and time again,
That's When everything I owned was up in soak.
He told me always ask him when I wanted anything-
How often I have carried him that news;
So last night I got a tenner, for I told him I was broke,
And I knew the angel never would refuse.
Never in a case like that,
Never in a case like that;
For every time I borrowed he was sure to give It up,
Still I wonder if he's thinking will I ever take a drop,
But I couldn't in a case like that,
With such an easy brace like that;
I have never yet made good,
But I often wished I could;
I'd be willing in a case lake that.
One night I jumped aboard a car, for where I live is far.
And near the door I got the last and only seat;
A lady right behind me came crowding through the door,
And while squeezing in, she tramped upon my feet.
Every seat was occupied, and standing up she had to ride;
And, now and then, she'd throw a glance at me.
She smiled and at me squinted, but I would not take the hint,
For she was ancient and her face was out of key.
Well, I couldn't in a case like that;
Nor I wouldn't for a face like that;
For it wasn't on the map, so I let her hold the strap;
She pretended she was weary and she started in to gap,
But when she walked upon my toes like that,
Nothing with me goes like that,
I'd have given her my seat
If it wasn't for her feet.
But never with her feet like that.
I took a girl to supper once-my limit it was two;
Said I, "That's all I have, so make it light."
When the waiter took her order and brought back an oyster stew,
Said I, "This now must do me for the night."
When I gave her cream and soda all was left was twenty cents,
Then I started for to see the lady home.
When she reached the sidewalk, kicking for a cab she did commence;
So I left her there to kick it out alone.
Well, I shook her in a case like that,
When she was getting off her base like that;
Then the waiter in the place called the man behind the bar;
He brought her out a seltzer and he put her on a car;
But When a lady makes a break like that,
She wants to get the shake like that;
If she tries to make a kick,
Say, "Good-night" and shake her quick,
Or she'll fool you in a case like that.