American Old Time Song Lyrics: 33 I Put It On
Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 33
I PUT IT ON
Sung by Paul Pelham.
They say that children ape the ways of men, and I am sure
That saying's true, of instances I know at least a score;
When quite a boy I saved my cash, a tall hat bought, a don,
And going to meet my sweetheart, why, of course, I put it on.
Chorus.
I put it on, I put it on.
Her other mash he punched my nose,
Smashed my hat and tore my clothes.
The way he paid me no one knows,
The day I put it on.
A friend of mine persuaded me at billiards once to play,
My ignorance of which I did not like to him display;
I seized the cue as bold as brass and chanced what might betide
Said he, my boy, to make that shot you want a little side.
Chorus.
So I put it on, I put it on,
I drove the ball right out of baulk.
Smashed the cue and lost the chalk,
Didn't I make the people talk,
The day I put it on.
Last week my tailor brought me home a pair of trousers light.
But soon I found he'd make the things so very, very tight;
I met a lady whom I knew and proudly walked along,
Not noticing I'd split the things the day I put 'em on.
Chorus.
I put 'em on, I put 'em on,
The little boys aloud did shout:
Does your mother know you're out,
Giddy, giddy, giddy gout,
The day I put 'em on.
My wife and I get on first-class, though sometimes things go crow,
Last night our little baby cried, and so I said, of course,
My dear, why don't you take it up, the pretty little elf,
But, feeling tired, she said, not me, just see to him yourself.
Chorus.
So I put it on, I put it on,
I knew not how to fold the thing,
Which way even to begin,
And in the baby stuck the pin,
The night I put it on.
Last summer down at Brighton I went bathing in the sea,
And got into the wrong machine, most awkward, you'll agree;
The tide was coming up and I afraid to stay there long,
Although the clothes were ladies', why, I had to put 'em on
Chorus.
I put 'em on, I put 'em on,
You should have heard the people roar
When I stepped upon the shore,
The bustle was hindside before,
Just as I'd put 'em on.