American Old Time Song Lyrics: 33 A Job Lot

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 33

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Additional Words Copyrighted, 1891, by T. B. Harms & Co.
Written and Composed by Chas. Brighton.
Additional Words by Harry Miller

I know I look a "mash,'" because I've got 'em on to-night,
They're a job lot;
The trousers fit me rather loose, the coat's a bit too tight.
They're a job lot;
Just here and there you may detect a little spot of gray;
But, as they haven't cost me much, I haven't much to say;
I bought 'em of a "Sheeney" for a ' tollar," down the buy
They're a job lot,

As a job lot they were cheap;
If the weather doesn't change, they'll keep;
Suit a cabman in bad weather,
For the pants are lined with leather-
As a job lot they are cheap.

Oh, giddy girls, it grieves me very much to have to say,
You're a job lot;
We never need to show you how to fling the cash away.
You're a job lot;
Perhaps a fellow weds a girl, and thinks he's got a saint,
But when he finds she wears a wig, and has recourse to paint,
Thinks he "I thought it genuine, but now I find it ain't,
It's a job lot."

As a job lot, girls go cheap;
And with rage a chap's inclined to weep
When she's ugly, tall and lanky,
With false teeth, and temper cranky.
As a job lot she's not cheap.

I once was married, for a dollar, with a dozen more,
As a job lot;
The minister said to the clerk, as we came in the door,
Here's a job lot.
Fourteen of us got very "tight," soon as we got outside,
No man could tell which was his wife, no matter how ho tried;
I gave each husband fifty cents, and bought up every bride
As a job lot.

As a job lot they were cheap;
But I didn't calculate their keep;
They looked careful, staid and thrifty,
But the youngest one was fifty,
But as a job lot they were cheap.

I bought a "safety bicycle," got guyed by all the boys,
'Twas a job lot;
It had no bell, but pressing something made a funny noise,
'Twas a job lot.
The first night I went out I caromed, with a mighty bang,
Upon the man who played the drum in some salvation gang;
And as they all marched over me, the sisters sweetly sang,
Here's a job lot.

As a job lot I looked cheap;
Rags and tatters bundled in a heap;
And my elegant knee-breeches
Wanted quite a lot of stitches,

As a job lot they'd go cheap.

I bought some eggs a cent apiece, a bargain you'll admit.
Quite a job lot;
Went in for chicken-raising, and induced a hen to sit
On this job lot.
Some sixteen eggs were hatched, a most unusual thing, I know,
And sixteen little "chicks" all stood before me, in a row,
But not one hen among them, every one knew how to crow,
They're a job lot.

As a job lot they are cheap,
But they never let a fellow sleep;
For, as crowers, they are "stayers,"
But they are no good as "layers "
As a job lot they'll go cheap.

The other night a pal and I went out to see the sights,
Quite a job lot;
We sampled whiskey, champagne, beer, until we looked like frights,
Such a job lot.
We chummed together till the day was dawning rosy clear,
A "copper "tried to waken us, his voice we didn't hear,
He got us on our feet, and to the station-house did steer.
Such a job lot.

As a job lot we were cheap;
And the judge he said, in accents deep,
"I shall have to put the 'snuffers'
On you pretty pair of ' bluffers,' "
As a job lot you're not cheap.

The cats around our boarding-house make lively things each night,
They're a job lot.
To entertain the boarders they begin to yowl and bite,
They're a job lot.
The other day I got some dynamite, and on the fence
I safely laid it, and I chuckled in my joy, immense.
Then watched 'em from the window with anxiety intense.
Watched the job lot.

As a job lot now they're cheap;
Of their tails and whiskers there's a heap;
They have now postponed their howling
And their everlasting yowling-
As a job lot they'd go cheap.

I like to sleep at night, but next to me's a wedded pair.
They've a job lot;
They've half-a-dozen children and I hear them everywhere.
They're a job lot.
The other morn that father came, with twinkles in his eyes.
And told me that the night had brought him such a great surprise,
He whispered "triplets" in my ear, and each one of a size -
Quite a job lot

As a job lot they are cheap.
But they will not let the neighbors sleep;
They might do in the museum-
People there might like to see 'era,
As a job lot they'd go cheap.

I read we have some splendid ships, but my opinion is­They're a job lot;
They'd go down to the bottom if a quib began to fizz­They're a job lot.
We ought to have a navy for the prices that they charge.

The people in authority talk mighty fine and large,
But half of them don't know an iron-clad from a barge­They're a job lot.

As a job lot they'd go cheap.
But they cost us quite a mint to keep;
With their boilers old and rusted,
And their timbers mud-incrusted,
As a job lot they'd sell cheap.
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III