THE INDIA-RUBBER MAN.
McFinny's wife was ever prone to call upon her neighbors;
He tried his best to keep her home, but fruitless were his labors.
At last he hit a novel plan, says he, I mean to spite her,
I'll dress me as a "rubber man" and some dark night affright her.
Beware, beware of the "rubber man," avoid the sad disaster
of meeting him some lone, dark night with his "gum-shoes and a plaster."
All in a suit of gum he dressed, with shoes of India rubber,
His nearest friend could know him not from villain, thief or lubber.
When on her route from neighbor Gray's, he made his sly appearance.
And plastered up her mouth to save all noise from interference, Chorus.
He took her cash, he grasped her hand and all the rings upon it.
But worse than all, in this mishap, she spoiled her Sunday bonnet.
Her furs and all her best attire with hasty hands he rifled;
She scratched, she kicked, of no avail, her voice too well was stilled.-Chorus.
At last for home she made her way, and fearful was her hurry.
She fainted as she entered there, for dreadful was her flurry.
With water cold, and with a fan, they brought her to her senses;
" He robbed me" -who?-the rubber man! and here the joke commences.-Cho.
Her neighbors all, both young and old, her story heard with pity,
Each neighbor then her neighbor told, till known o'er all the city.
The joke was good, to keep at home through fear, in every quarter.
The gadding wife, the roving maid, the mother and the daughter.- Chorus.