American Old Time Song Lyrics: 31 It's A Thousand To One

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 31

IT'S A THOUSAND TO ONE.
Written and by Harry Dacre.
Sung by Bonnie Kate Harvey.

I've just got a book and a pencil-so now
I'm ready to lay you long odds;
Just tell me your fancy (don't make too much row),
And I'm ready to lay you long odds;
It isn't on horses I wish you to lay.
But only on popular songs of the day;
Now which is the best song I'd like you say.
To name it I'll give you long odds.

Chorus.
It's a thousand to one on the gallery,
If the chorus is catchy and bright.
They'll lift off the roof with their voices
And call for it every night:
It's a thousand to one that the singer
Isn't sorry to see it "catch on;"
That she'll chant it-when they want it.
It's just a thousand to one.

A girl may be timid before she is wed.
But I'm" ready to lay you long odds
When she's landed the fish there's a tongue in her head,
I'm ready to lay you long odds;
These very still waters are frequently deep.
And husbands may think they're getting off cheap,
But soon they will have good occasion to weep,
I'm ready to lay you long odds.

Chorus.
It's a thousand to one on the ladies.
If they make tip their minds for a fight,
Her dear little tongue I'm afraid is
Inclined to go all day and night:
It's a thousand to one that for husband
Will wish he'd not "taken her on,"
For she'll slang him and she'll bang him!
It's just a thousand to one.

Sometimes on the racecourse you'll meet a young man
Who's ready to lay you long odds;
He'll give higher prices than honest men can;
He offers such very long odds;
And if you're a Juggins you'll artlessly part
Without a suspicion of tricks in your heart;
He'll watch for his chance then away he will dart,
And you'll fish for your very long odds.

Chorus.

It's a thousand to one on the welsher
If he makes up his mind for a bite.
But sometimes he isn't successful.
They catch him just taking his flight;
It's a thousand to one that the public
Will teach him for trying it on;
They will bang him-nearly hang him.
It's just a thousand to one.

Old England is still the fair land of the free.
And I'm ready to lay you long odds.
She'll ever continue the first power to be,
I'm ready to lay you long odds;
The threatenings of Russia are puerile and vain;

We lead by our kindness, they drag with a chain;
We've trashed them before, and we can do it again,
I'm ready to lay you long odds.

Chorus.
It's a thousand to one on old England
If we make up our minds for a fight,
We can prove ourselves ready and plucky.
We'll prove both our might and our right;
It's a thousand to one that our foemen
Will wish they'll not taken it on.
For we'd beat them-nearly eat them.
It's just a thousand to one.