SECOND-HAND HOTEL DOWN WHERE I BOARD.
Tune-"Down on the Farm."
Written and Sung by James W. Dunn.
I'm a boarder, and I dwell at a second-hand hotel;
If I stop there long, I know I'll be insane;
But my trunk I cannot take, for my life will be at stake,
For "the board I owe it fills my heart with pain;
There are doctors, undertakers, and all dizzy kinds of fakirs,
Who eat the best the hotel can afford;
There are gamblers, preachers, tailors, bunco-steerers and sailors
In this second-hand hotel down where I board.
Oh, it nearly drives me mad, a square meal I haven't had,
And the music of them boarders as they snored;
The landlord's crazy, so is his wife-I'm afraid I'll lose my life
In that second-hand hotel down where I board.
When they ring the dinner bell all the boarders give a yell,
And they make a rush to get in at the door;
When the bill-of-fare was read, two new boarders they dropped dead,
And the landlord searched their pockets on the floor;
They have clam-shell soup and pie-if you'd eat it you would die,
And the doctor's always called when dinner's o'er;
The undertaker be hangs 'round, for lots of business can be found
In this second-hand hotel down where I board.-Chorus.
When the landlord he gets tight, he starts in to look for fight,
With an axe he'll chase the boarders up and down;
One poor fellow lost his ear. and I think it mighty queer
That I'm still alive and breathing in this town;
My heart is nearly broke-if I slay there long I'll croak;
My life it hangs upon a slender cord
With these robbers and man-catchers, lunatics and body-snatchers,
At this second-hand hotel down where I board.-Chorus.