THE WRESTLE OF THE CATS.
Recited by O'Neil and Conroy.
Mrs. Maloney had a cat, and a female cat was she.
Her voice it was a soprano, And she sung in the key of G;
Oh, it was my delight, of a starry night, when coming home from a ball,
To hear her singing "We met by chance, " on the top of Maloney's wall.
I know she went up as high as "G, " and sometimes I think she went higher,
And the way she dwelt on the very last note, you'd think she was hollering fire!
I really think she could say the word fire! but still I'll not swear to that,
For I wouldn't like to make a liar of Mrs. Maloney "s cat.
Now old Mrs. McFadden she had a Tom, (a cat I mean by that name),
And she called Mrs. Maloney's cat, in the other yard, a most disrespectful name;
Maloney "s cat cried out: "Your another! " then McFadden's loudly did bawl:
"You sucker send out your big brother, or come yourself over the wall;
I'll wrestle you collar and elbow, I'll throw you as quick as a rat!"
"Arrah, don't be getting your back up! " says Mrs. Maloney's cat.
Now Jerry McGill had a bull dog, and Jerry he lived in the rear,
And the bull dog was lean, lank, and hungry, and divil a cat did he fear;
Now Jerry he called his dog "Boney, " says he: "Now, I'll bet a new hat,
If I leave off his chain and his muzzle he'll make sausage-meat out of them cats."
One night, (it was dark and dreary, and the divil a star in the sky),
Boney had off his chain and his muzzle and he laid for the cats on the sly;
Now the cats they met in the hallway, and they wrestled clean out to the yard,
The first hold was "collar and elbow, " and their breathing was terrible hard.
Then they both tried "Graeco Roman, "but you couldn't tell who got first fall,
And Boney was acting as referee in the shade of the garden wall;
They howled, and they spit, and they fluttered, and the blood from their noses
Says Boney: "I'll take a new hoult, I'll wrestle them catch as catch can."
Then like lightning he sprang in amongst them, in his jaws he had one by the back
Such a yell was ne'er heard in that quarter, as came from Maloney's poor cat;
McFadden's cat fought like a tiger, out Boney's strength didn't him fail,
With a twist of his jaws, like a general, he bit off McFadden's cat's tail.
Oh, the howling and yelling, and growling of the dog and the cats filled the air,
And the windows all 'round in the barracks flew open everywhere;
Heads with night-caps, of old men and old women and children, poked out in the
They thought that the house was on fire, or the divil was out on a lark. [dark.
They tried to look out in the darkness where the noise came from down by the wall
And thinking some one was being murdered, they loud for the police did bawl.
Then they came out in droves and in dozens, the children, old women and men,
With candles, with lamps, and with matches, but. ah! what a sight met them then;
McFadden and Mrs. Maloney they sorrowfully shook their night-caps,
To see McGill's bull dog, old Bouncy, holding a wake over the two defunct cats.