You'll Have to Be Up to the Times.
There's hundreds of people most worried to death,
They can't find out where the fault lays;
They bother themselves 'till they're all out of breath,
While they stick to old stereotype ways.
A synopsis we'll give in a skeleton form,
The very best way in our rhymes,
Give up the idea of old grandfather's day,
And try and be up to the times.
Just save up your pennies and figure them close,
You can very soon count them in dimes;
Soon your dimes runs to dollars, and when you have them
You can always be up to the times.
Now appearance is half of the battle, you bet,
You're a darling in every one's eyes,
Remember you're working for all you can get,
Always spring something new by surprise.
There's lots of inducements to throw a man off,
When you listen to flattery's chime
You'll find yourself lost, and you'll be a dead frost,
Unless you are up to the times.
It's a very wise lad, yes, that knows his own dad,
To find out if you re very inclined,
If your father can't tell, you can know very well,
That he was never up to the times.
Just look at the ladies each day that we meet,
They seem to know more than the men,
Well, your wife, just for spite, she goes out every night,
You can never find out where she's been.
You might think it's all right, but I know it's all wrong,
Well, there's other nice mashers she finds,
Whatever she does, and wherever she was,
You can bet she was up to the times.
Girls at sweet sixteen Summers know more than their mammas,
Up the back stairs often climb;
Well, the skating rink never keeps open all night,
Well, the girls are all up to the times.