American Old Time Song Lyrics: 22 The Evening Telegram

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 22

THE EVENING TELEGRAM.
Written and sung by Sam Devere.

There are lots of daily papers that are published every day.
And if you will listen I will tell you what they pay;
First we have the Herald, Tribune and the Sun,
But I'll bet the Star was printed before the World begun.
We have the New York Clipper, for sporting news the best.
And what the Truth would like to know the Poet and Express
But if you want the news that's fresh, as sure as my name is Sam,
Call a newsboy from the corner and buy the Evening Telegram.

Would you like to know how Hewitt went over to Hunters " Point
In partnership with Talmage to start an opium joint?
How doctor Mary Walker is waiting for a chance
To wear a jersey to expose the polonaise of her pants
When President Cleveland's fishing he never has to wait.
For the fat woman in the museum is just the thing for bait?
And why the cheap Italians never expect to see a man
Of the Board of Health in Crosby street in the Evening Telegram?

Twill tell you about divorces, and the cheapest place to cat,
How the " Reverend Billy McGlory discovered Hester street;
About lady fortune tellers who try to rope you in,
And give you lots of taffy and collar all your tin.
Or if you have rheumatics and a turkish bath you need.
There's lot's of lady doctors who are very kind indeed;
And admit the great East iron bridge two great cities span.
And when Hugh J. Grant will have twins in the Evening Telegram.