American Old Time Song Lyrics: 22 That Innocent Kid

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 22

THAT INNOCENT KID.
Copyright, 1889, by Harding Brothers.
Words and Music by J. F. Mitchell.

I pity the father and mother we've got,
An innocent kid!
They're always in water exceedingly hot,
With innocent kid!
The kid's an example to all kids around,
With sanctified phrases her speeches abound;
Yet in all sorts of devilment she will be found,
This innocent kid!

She talks goody-goody and loves Sunday-school,
Sweet innocent kid!
Yet she has her own way like a government mule,
This innocent kid!
She will tell you of "Mary and her little lamb!"
She will smear your best trousers with candy or jam;
Till you feel in your heart you'd like to say---
To innocent kid!

There never was a secret that isn't well known
To innocent kid!
She will worry your life as a dog does a bone,
This innocent kid!
If her sister, at night, is alone with her spark,
And the beau should be bashful, well-he's just the mark!
For she'll turn out the gas and leave them in the dark,
Sweet innocent kid!

She will talk about marriage before she is ten,
This innocent kid!
And give pointers in courting to old married men.
Oh, innocent kid!
You may dress in the fashion and study with pains,
And present her big sister with lockets and chains;
But she'll quickly find out if you've got any brains,
This innocent kid!

When she grows up to womanhood, she is the same
Sweet innocent kid!
With a woman's ambition for changing her name,
Dear innocent kid!
Supper parties and balls, matinees and all that.
Are the aim of her life and she's got them down pat;
Oh, the fun she has when she catches a flat,
This innocent kid!

She goes fishing for men and her smiles are the bait.
Of innocent kid!
She will meet a big jay and she'll call him her fate;
Oh, innocent kid!
Ah, but when she has captured the man and his pelf,
The love, like cold mutton, is put on the shelf;
Then the husband sits down and sings to himself,
"I'm innocent kid!"