I NEVER SAW A SAW SAW LIKE THIS SAW SAWS.
I'm cheap Jack by trade, and all things I have sold,
Low priced, and expensive, and novel, and old;
I've journeyed o'er England, o'er Scotland and Wales,
And startled the natives with marvelous tales;
But tonight I've an article I want to sell,
That will suit any one. I can warrant it well,
This saw I can introduce safely, because
I ne'er saw a saw saw like this ere saw saws.
You may have sought a saw that saws like this saw saws,
Or want a sort of saw that saws like this saw saws.
You purchase ought a saw that saws like this saw saws,
But you never saw a saw that saws like this saw saws.
Its uses I'll run through remarkably quick.
It can Cut its own lucky and cut its own stick,
To cut along quickly it never has failed.
And goes faster than ever a cutter yet sailed;
Its assisted full many old fogies when ill,
To cut off their heir, I mean in a will.
It can cut in the light and can cut in the dark.
And hits caused full many a cutting remark.-Chorus.
Now this very saw, mind, it's truth that I tell,
Assisted in cutting the Suez Canal,
And it's used you always distinctly can trace,
In taking a short cut to any known place;
It's used in cutting a dozen things more.
It can cut an acquaintance, a dun or a bore,
And as falsehood my spirit is muchly beneath,
I assure you it's true, it can cut its own teeth.-Chorus.
Mind what I now tell you is not in a joke,
'Twill assist you to long cut or short, if you smoke,
And though I've not tried, I believe these two facts
It's useful to cut down rate or a tax;
I never saw a saw like this saw saws, no!
Will any one purchase it now, ere I go?
For though at the fact perhaps many may scoff,
This saw is compelling me now to cut off.-Chorus.