American Old Time Song Lyrics: 20 Bachelors Hall

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 20

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BACHELOR'S HALL.

Bachelor's Hall, what a quare-looking place it is,
Kape me from sich all the days of my life:
Sure, but I think what burning disgrace it is
Niver at all to be getting a wite.
See the ould bachelor, gloomy and sad enough.
Placing his tay-kittle over the fire;
Soon tips it over, St. Patrick, he's mad enough,
If he were present, to tight with the squire.

How like a pig in a mortar bed wallowing.
Awkward enough, see him knading his dough;
Troth! if the bread he could ate without swallowing.
How he would favor his palate, you know.
Pots, dishes, pans, and such greasy commodities,
Ashes and pratie skins kiver the floor;
His cupboard's a storehouse of comical oddities,
Things that had never been neighbors before.

His meal being over, his table's left setting so,
Dishes, take care of yourselves if you can;
But hunger returns, then he's fuming and fretting so,
Och! let him alone for a baste of a man.
Late in the night when he goes to bed shiverin',
Never a bit is the bed made at all;
He crapes like a tarapin under the kiverin',
Bad luck to the picture of Bachelor's Hall.

I Couldn't Help Laughing, it Tickled Me So.

From morning till night I'm indulging in mirth,
I've always been so from the day of my birth;
I grin like a Maltese cat all through each day,
And never feel right unless laughing away.
My infantile actions were certainly wild.
All folks said I was a most wonderful child;
And when first short-coated, I'd have you to know,
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! ho!
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so

And when, by degrees, I had reached man's estate,
I then looked about in search of a mate;
My eyes soon I set on a girl, tall and fair,
And begg'd that my heart and my home she would share.
And while so persistently urging my claim,
She gave her consent and at last the day came;
But, when in the morning to church we did go,
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! ho!
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.

I'm fond of a game, I'm a good one to chaff.
At all kinds of mischief I'm certain to laugh;
I oft play a lark on some innocent elf,
Nor cure though the laugh should be turn'd 'gainst myself.
I once, walking out, saw a man in a fit.
To make him come round I his ear quickly bit;
And when he jump'd up, knock'd me down with one blow,
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! ho!
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.

My landlord once called for his two quarters' rent,
But I couldn't pay it because it was spent;
So off to a broker he went very quick

And vowed he would seize upon every stick.
Before he could get back I gave him leg-bail,
For I shot the moon but got caught, put in jail;
And tho' plac'd in "limbo " for what I did owe,
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! ho!
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.

Three times in succession my partner had twins,
My place to look like a small schoolroom begins;
Throughout all the day there is nothing but glee.
For all of them have laughing fits just like me.
The last time to add to our family joys,
To me three presented, a girl and two boys;
When I saw the three cherubs all of a row,
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! ho!
I couldn't help laughing, it tickled me so.
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III