American Old Time Song Lyrics: 19 Shes The Gawkiest Gawk Of Them All

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 19

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She's the Gawkiest Gawk of Them All
Copyright, 1887, by S. S. Stewart.

I have fallen in love, I am sorry to say,
With a Roman nose gugle-eyed belle;
I captured her heart in a business-like way,
But I've found her a regular sell;
Twas a cold Summer's day on which fate made us meet,
She was dressed in her ev'ry-day clothes;
I was captur'd at once by the size of her feet,
And the dear little wart on her nose.
Now I shudder to think of the size of her smile,
She's a voice like an elephant's call,
And her laugh was imported I think from the Nile,
She's the gawkiest gawk of them all.

Her pretty blue eyes are now changing to gray,
And her pearly white teeth she has lost,
Her freckles and wrinkles have all come to stay,
She has seen many Summers and frost;
When she winks it will pay you to study her face,
But a line must be drawn on her cheek,
As that is her feature and leaves little space
For the rest of her charms so to speak;
Oh, she stumbles and waddles wherever she goes,
And she'll jamb you into a brick wall,
She will step in the mud and then tramp on your toes,
She's the gawkiest gawk of them all.

Her eccentric notion's the talk of the town,
She blunders in all that she tries,
She tripp'd on the stairway one day and slid down,
And blackened her beautiful eyes;
She's a Jonah to glassware, there's not a good clock
Within seven miles of this elf,
When her hand you shake, you'll receive such a shock,
That will lay you six months on the shelf;
She broke me all up one night at the play,
She haw-hawed till the curtain did fall.
The managers paid me to take her away;
She's the gawkiest gawk of them all.
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