KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT.
Copyright, 1888, by Bowen & Schleiffarth.
If you should e'er be tempted to an editor to bring
An airy little poem on the novel theme of Spring,
Beware, the goat, the office goat, his horns are sharp and hard,
And, oh, he loves to dally with the unsuspecting hard;
So lest his horns should linger 'neath the coat-tails of your coat,
Keep one eye on the editor, the other on the goat.
If you should keep a beer saloon, and to you should appear
A most suspicious looking tramp who loudly calls for beer,
Be wary when he looks around to see what he may seize,
He surely has designs upon the crackers and the cheese;
Then take his measure carefully before you kick or punch,
Keep one eye on the nickel, and the other on the lunch.
If an Italian marquis you should ever entertain,
A titled scalawag who hopes an heiress' hand to gain,
His manners may be perfect, and his accent quite too sweet,
But for all that, perhaps he is the deadest kind of beat;
When dining, bear in mind, aristocrats are artful coons,
Keep one eye on the marquis, and the other on the spoons.
When calling on a pretty girl who smiles upon your suit,
Do not forget her father who may be a surly brute,
And while .you pour your vows of love into her shell-like ear,
Be watchful that her parent on the scene does not appear;
Be sure the gate is opened wide and be prepared to scoot,
Keep one eye on the fair one, and keep one on papa's boot
If you should be a candidate for some "fat office "job,
Be liberal with every one and shake hands with the mob,
Say that you think a man should vote as conscience bids him to,
That is, of course, providing conscience bids him vote for you;
Be early at the polls and watch until the voting's done,
Keep one eye on the ballot box, the other on your gun.
"And so you think you will get married when you grow up to
be a young lady, Flossie?" said the caller. "Oh, I haven't a
doubt of it," assented Flossie. "Everybody says I am very much
like my mamma; and she, you know, has been married three